To put it as clearly as possible: Marrying for love, despite providing momentary bliss, seldom produces successful, happy marriages. The notion that love must exist between a match for a marriage to be harmonious is a recent and rather foolish one indeed! Though many believe the days of arranged marriages and marrying purely for wealth and political connections (and therefore ignoring any compatibility between the pair!) may be behind us, the notion that love — and only love — is what a young lady should be pursuing is bound to wreck the foundation of our very own society!

A young debutante experiencing her first (or perhaps even her second or third!) season is susceptible to feelings of affection to any man who gives her the attention she’s only witnessed in her silly romance novels. The man, frequently full of of charm, has no difficulty capturing her attention; however, all young ladies should beware. It is said that a gentleman truly in love will rarely appear attractive to the object of his affection, for the confident charm and pleasant disposition will be replaced with nervousness and quite obvious dips in their self-esteem. For such reason, many woman who claim to love a man of such charm and poise — and to be loved by him in return — are only fooling themselves and securing their unhappy future with a man who sees their marriage as what it was truly meant to be: a business arrangement.

While traits such as charity, chivalry, and kindness should most definitely be assessed in a potential husband, women should be caring far more about the prospects such a match brings for their future! A man, though gentle and romantic, is worth little as a husband if unable to provide financial and physical security to his young bride and whatever children may come for the marriage. Instead a young bride-to-be should make sure to examine a man for the following in the event of a potential engagement:

Ancestry: The magical community in Britain, while small compared to that of the muggle community, is not free from possible deception. Many men may make frivolous claims about their heritage or relations, including the presence of any troublesome family members or tainted blood. While the blood status of a man is not always important to a young woman, it is advised that the bloodline is examined closely for traces of non-human blood, while may potentially ruin the prospects for your children if knowledge of such ancestry was to ever emerge.

Estate: The wealth of a man may seem apparent based off his standard of living, but the worth of a man is not always evident by outside appearances. Very frequently, insecure men with little wealth will live extravagantly, with little money remaining from their inheritance or in their Gringotts account. On the other hand, some gentleman prefer to live modesty — many indeed saving their money until the time comes to support a family! — and keep many hidden investments and piles of galleons within their Gringotts vaults. Such hints can be found even before the engagement takes place; if a man takes an unnatural interest in the value of your father’s estate, he may be searching for gold he doesn’t have to his name!

Character: A man’s character upon introduction may be deceiving, which is why we advise all young ladies to engage in a length courtship before the topic of engagement becomes one of regular conversation. A man’s character goes beyond the manner in which he treats the object of his affection; a young lady should also be aware of the way he treats his family (particularly his mothers and unmarried sisters!), strangers, and especially those beneath him on the social ladder. A man’s character can hardly be judged on how he treats his equals and superiors; to find that truth, one must discover how he treats the poor and needy.

Though months away from the next season, many young ladies are preparing to make their debut — either right out of Hogwarts or finishing school. Many are also hoping to redeem themselves from failed first seasons, and may be wondering what went wrong! Before any young lady can find herself happily situated in matrimony, she must be aware of the type of man she is marrying. Ignorance to the true character of a man, often misconstrued by feelings of infatuation, can lead to long-term unhappiness.