Cold Hearts Brew Colder Songs

[Zelda Fisk]

@'Lupus Jameshill' @'Ophelia Dippet' 

Mr. L. Jameshill,

September 2nd

I read your letters to Xena.

From before you died. I suppose there must be others, but those are the ones I read. You really loved her, obviously. The branches outside the window were for her, I guess, but at the time she let them think they were for me.

I was a strange choice of Fisk if you wanted to hear about Xena. I may be one of the only Fisks who wouldn't recognize you, but we've never gotten along, so. She's very different from me. You know that by now, and I'm sure I've said as much to you, but she is. She's also our Father's favorite.

He knows you're alive, by the way. I ran into him after I got your letter, and it sort of all spilled out. I thought it would come out anyways, but there's nothing in the paper.

I don't understand why you did any of this. I thought I'd learn by now but my father didn't tell me. It's my life too, you know, no matter how much you love Xena and no matter how much you faked your death. 

I've been compared to Xena my entire life. She's the nice one and the pretty one and she always does what she's supposed to; I'm the obnoxious one who's friends with boys and works in the Ministry and wanted to play Quidditch. People like her more. It's what they do.

I thought you were different. I kept hiding you from my brothers because I wanted a person who only knew me. There's so many of us and I just - wanted someone to myself. I thought you actually liked me; you acted like you liked me. I could have loved you if you had let this play out longer, I think.

I don't know why you didn't stop me. I thought you wanted to kiss me. You made me have fun at a ball, you bought me a drink, for - what? I just don't get it. I should have known better, I guess, but I thought you were different.

Sincerely,
Miss Zelda Fisk

The following 2 users Like Zelda Fisk's post:2 users Like Zelda Fisk's post
   Ellory Pendergast, Lupus Jameshill

[Lupus Jameshill]

This wasn't delivered by owl; instead, the letter itself was charmed to fly to her in a vague bird shape and then unfold when landing on her hand.

2 September 1887

Miss Z. Fisk,

I didn't think about the branches being outside your window, too. I didn't think about them, anyway, until I saw you in the street, and by then it was too late to do anything about them. There are a lot of things that I should have thought about, if I were... better. I'm not proud of the way things happened, particularly not as they related to you. I should have stopped you, but I didn't know how. I'm sorry.

You don't know much about me, do you? From before, I mean. You don't know much about who I really am. I thought Xena would have told you more. I suppose I knew you weren't close but I imagined at some point it would have come out.

It doesn't matter now. At least, I can't imagine it will matter. I'm sorry that I lied to you and I'm sorry that I hurt you, but at least you can take consolation in the fact that I'm fairly certain you won't be seeing me again.

There's nothing wrong with being friends with boys and wanting to play Quidditch. I certainly don't think you're obnoxious. There are other people in the world who can make you have fun at balls and who can be what you wanted me to be. You'll find one, someday. Probably soon. In the mean time, I'll say again that I'm very, very sorry.

Sincerely,

L. Jameshill

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