Charming is a Victorian Era Harry Potter roleplay set primarily in the village of Hogsmeade, Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, and the non-canon village of Irvingly. Characters of all classes, both magical and muggle — and even non-human! — are welcome.
With a member driven story line, monthly games and events, and a friendly and drama-free community focused on quality over quantity, the only thing you can be sure of is fun!
"Are you always this forward?" He asked teasingly since it would be a very short thread if he just ignored her entirely. — Tobin Cartwright in Take A Peek
Did you know? Churchgoers and worshippers had to endure a foul stench during prayers due to the amount of bodies often stored within the vaults of churches and chapels.
This letter was not meant to be sent by Ainsley, she merely wrote it to let out her frustrations but somehow it got mixed in with the mail. It is tear-stained with a lot of cross outs and ink blotches.
Evander,
You up and disappear from my life only to reappear now, three years later without even the common courtesy to tell me that you have returned to town? Utterly inexcusable. I was having tea with Niamh the other day and she let it slip you were back in town. First of all I cannot believe you would just run out on me like that, to just shatter our plans and my heart like that without even giving me time to adjust or even to fix whatever it was that made you leave. Surely you could have at least warned your dear, sweet sister? You have no idea how many lives you disassembled when you left? You selfish bastard.
I thought was over you, but to hear that you were back in town has dissolved my resolve. Three years is a long time for any girl to recollect herself and become a ghost of who she was. I cannot even say I am the same person from before you left and I do not think I will ever be again. Things have changed and if you think can just waltz right back in you best think again. You hurt people, people who loved you, some still do, despite your selfishness. I cannot count myself among them
I sincerely hope you apologize to Niamh and that she gives you what you deserve. I hope she makes you work for her forgiveness and you should value it when she decides to bestow it upon you. As for me, I cannot say I hope to see you soon as it would be an utter lie.
Although there are no words to express how much I regret leaving the way I did, please know that I do. There has been an emptiness within my being, something that I did not know I could miss until I was away from you. For so long I thought that the ache was a longing to learn, to grow. It took me too long to realize that the whole time my heart only yearned for you.
I was not aware that you and I had any real plans, though I am not using that as an excuse for my actions. Please do not misinterpret it as such. I am merely looking for an explanation from you as to what exactly you mean by 'shatter our plans.' As for the warning, I knew that if I had told anyone of my plans, they would have tried to convince me to stay. You know me better than most, and you know that had I given them the chance to change my mind, they would have. I needed to get out and find myself, find what I had thought, at the time, was missing.
I have never, even for a brief moment, expected to just waltz back into your life and pick up where we had left off. I am not the same man I was when I left three years ago. I do not expect you to let me in again, though it would mean more to me than anything else if we could spend some time together and explore each other anew, learn and grow from the trials and tribulations we have both faced and overcome over the last three years.
Niamh has not answered any of my letters, and completely avoids Cillian's home when she knows that I will be around. I have tried to apologize, but she refuses to even acknowledge my existence, apart from doing all in her power to stay away from me.
Please accept my sincerest apologies. That letter was not meant to be sent. I cannot explain to you how sorry I am that you actually received it. I was, and still am, very angry with you, but you did not deserve that. It is painful to learn however, that you felt you could not trust me with your plans. Had I known you had wanted to leave that badly I wouldn't have stopped you. I understand the need to be your own person, Evander, and do what suits you, but to keep it a secret from everyone who loves you is just disrespectful.
I know it will be hard, but please disregard what you read, explaining myself at this time would only open up barely healed wounds. Sitting down to write this letter is so much harder than the last one because I know you will read this one. It is impossible for me tell you what I meant in my letter as I do not even know what I was thinking. I had finally gotten you out of my head, after three years of wondering what I had done wrong. Hearing you were back in town created a fresh wave of unhappiness that I was unprepared to deal with, so I attempted to write it away. I have learned my lesson in that respect.
Taking time to get reacquainted is not something I can afford to. I fell in love with the man I knew, when I was a different person, in a different place and time in my life. Trying to do that again makes it feel like the first time wasn't real, but for me it was very much so and it's so very hard to let that go. You will always be my first love.
As for your sister, I know she will forgive you, but you will have to earn it. I wish you luck in that endeavor because I know she will make you work for it.
I apologize again, enjoy your time in town.
Ainsley
Please, there is no need to apologize. The best way to learn how someone truly feels is through the words they speak from their heart. I know that you were angry, and that you still are. You have every right to be, and I expect nothing short of it.
Do not think that I had plans for more than a day, as I didn't. My plans were something that I had been planning for years, something that, in all honesty, I wanted to do with you. Unfortunately, your family and others in the community began to pressure me into marrying you, and I was in no shape to marry someone when I had yet to discover who I actually was. To ask you to abandon your family and risk loosing everything to run away with me on some fanciful idea of an adventure was too much. I had no idea if I would be able to support myself, let alone you. There were no real plans, just a wing and a prayer.
There was nothing you did wrong, Ainsley, and you cannot know how it pains me to hear that you think or ever thought that you were the problem. I loved you with all of my heart, and still do. Do not think that these past three years away from you have changed me so much as to forget the amazing woman you are. I guarantee that, if given the chance, I could fall for you with ease, despite your claims that you have changed. You are one of the strongest, most resourceful and resilient women I have ever known, and though you may feel as though you have changed deep down I would bet anything that if given the opportunity, you are the same amazing person you have always been, with more experiences to make her all the more wiser.
No one is asking you to forget the past. This is a chance to find something that is missing, to rediscover each other as friends. I would not ask for anything more unless I know that you are comfortable with it. Please forgive me for being so bold, but I cannot hold back how I feel for you, how I have always felt.
I would love an opportunity to be able to show you photographs from my travels, and show you my journals and notes. You would love them, Ainsley, I know you would.
Regarding Niamh- I'm sure she will forgive me, but it will have to be on her own terms. I am ready to do anything she, or you, asks of me, in order to gain your forgiveness.
I still regret the way the letter was written, it was not meant for anyone's eyes but mine.
It still pains me to think that you would not share your plans; I would have dropped everything and gone wherever you wanted to go. What else could I have done Evander? To choose between a family that tries to make me into something I am not and the man I loved whisking me off on a grand adventure seems like a fairly easy choice.
A wing, a prayer and you would have been all I needed.
Despite your best intentions, I still do not believe that getting together any time soon is a good idea for me. I cannot trust myself and I cannot yet trust you, for which I am sorry.
I'm sure that your pictures are lovely and maybe I will see them in time, but I fear that now to look at them will only serve to remind me of what I missed out on.
If there is one thing I have learned on my travel, we must not regret anything. We must only accept our past mistakes and learn from them in order to better ourselves for the future. I could not, in good conscience, have asked you to leave your family. I know how close you are with your brother, and never in a million years could have asked you to risk that relationship for me. Blood is thicker than water, and though I would have, and still would share my soul and bear myself naked to you, in all sense of the words, your family is who will be there for you. I know this is most likely something you have learned over the last three years filled with hurt, heartache and indescribable pain that was unintentionally and regrettably caused by my sudden departure.
Perhaps you can grace me with the honor of your presence the day after Christmas? Cillian's home has a working fireplace and if you are somewhere that you can use the floo network, you could meet me there. I have three years worth of Christmas gifts for you, and perhaps instead of lamenting over what could have been on a past trip, I can help you plan a future one, with me, alone or with anyone else.
I am truly sorry, but I will have to decline your invitation. This is such a hectic and busy time of year that I just cannot afford to deviate from the normal plans. This is too much, too soon for me.
Then perhaps another time, after the hectic holidays. I can understand how crazy this time of year can be. I have also noticed that the Flamels are hosting a ball this New Years, and wouldn't want to be the reason for you to have anything less than a wonderful evening tomorrow night. I have attached the gifts with this letter.
Please send my warmest wishes and regards to your family for me.
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