DO YOU WANT SOME SNACKS? A CONDOM?!

[Marius Favreau]

The cover of the envelope is the only typewritten part.

MR. TOUSSAINT FAVREAU
BLACK'S

HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY!

Enclosed are a handful of sheepskin condoms.

  

[Toussaint Favreau]

Marius,

Nice try. Unfortunately for you I only know one bastard annoying enough to try that, and unfortunately for me, he is my brother.

I suppose I have a greater chance of having to use them than you ever will, though it would be a greater loss to the world for you, rather than I, to pass on your traits to the next generation.

Toussaint.

[Marius Favreau]

Toussaint,

February 14th, 1885

Chou-chou, we both know that you've never had reason to use one of those in your life. It'd have to involve dislodging the stick from your ass, after all.

Just think: you might be more interesting if you ever tup anyone!

MARIUS

  

[Toussaint Favreau]

Marius,

I have far more experience, as you would eloquently put it, at putting a stick in things than you ever will. I’m also not so desperate as to have to pay women, as I’m sure you must do to make them endure your company.

Toussaint.

[Marius Favreau]

Toussaint,

February 14th, 1885

That would be a more convincing lie if I hadn't met you.

MARIUS

  

[Toussaint Favreau]

Marius,

If that were the case you would only have sent me one. As you did not, your subconscious believes me, even if you claim to be ignorant.

Toussaint.

PS: Or did you just remove one from the packet for yourself in vain hope and sent me the rest so you wouldn’t be reminded of your own failures?

[Marius Favreau]

Toussaint,

February 15th, 1885

I sent you multiple because I thought it would be more entertaining if my envelope rained them upon you, Toussy - really, you over-estimate my investment in poking fun, I do have more interesting things to do with my time than over-evaluate your life.

& those are multi-use; I have my own supply. Nice try, though.

MARIUS