Dear Sex Fairy

[Amalia Qeb]

Arthur,

21 September 83

I have a very important question to ask of you. As the topic is...delicate in nature I need to be assured that you are alone when you receive and read my letter. So please, at your nearest convenience, write back when you are able to correspond with me. I really need help and I believe you the best to grant me that.

Amalia

  

[Arthur Pettigrew]

Miss Mia,

September 22nd

I don't know what sort of help I'm possibly good for, but I have nothing to do for the next several hours, so go for it.

Art Pettigrew

[Amalia Qeb]

Arthur,

22 September 83

Oh Merlin don't call me 'Miss'. Such formality is unneccessary and makes the coming question a bit more difficult to ask. But I won't digress any further as I am indeed in need of answers to a most pressing question.

I'm not entirely certain how to go about asking it and hope that you'll not think less of me for it but as it seems my suitor will ask for my hand I find that it is a very important thing for me to know. When a man lies with a woman is it posibble for him to know if she's impure? My knowledge on such things is limited and you seem the best bet in finding answers out of everyone I trust with such things.

Amalia

  

[Arthur Pettigrew]

Miss Mia,

September 22nd

I like alliteration. Don't spoil my fun.

Merlin. I'm really your friend that knows the most about this?

Not unless they're looking to figure it out. And even then if you're able to convincingly lie I doubt that a man would doubt you, you've always been fairly well behaved.

Art Pettigrew

[Amalia Qeb]

Arthur,

22 September 83

Fine I won't mess up your fun.

And of course you're the one who would know the most. Do you think I am friends with a bunch of slatterns? Not that you're a slattern but you are a man and men seem to always have more experience than women. Or at least women in my position.

I very highly doubt Mr. Winchester would have a reason to doubt me but...you do know there were those rumors about Ozier and myself and you never know how he might feel about them. I just would loathe to have my little secret found out. That of course means I'm trusting you to never say anything about it for fear of my cursing you to the ends of the earth.

Amalia

  

[Arthur Pettigrew]

Miss Mia,

September 22nd

Ozier Qeb took your virtue? As in, the Ozier Qeb? THE ENEMY?

Traitor.

I won't tell anyone.

TRAITOR

Is it the Winchester that's a few years older than me? Looks like he should wear spectacles? The boring one? Don't marry him, he's boring.

Art Pettigrew

[Amalia Qeb]

Arthur,

22 September 83

You're being dramatic. We had already lost before I began taking any notice at all to him. Okay well perhaps that isn't true. While he infuriated me at first he ended up being...rather sweet in his pursuit of me. If you were a young woman I'm sure he could have charmed your knickers off as well. You just don't know him aside from...well when he made leeks sprout out of your ears because you were kissing me.

And yes that's the same Mr. Winchester. I don't have much of a choice. Mother is putting her foot down and in fact I'm leaving quidditch as soon as he proposes. Which, if gossip is a reliable source, shouldn't be very long at all. He's a nice enough fellow and he'll be able to take care of me so I suppose I shouldn't be down about that. That said I'd much rather marry someone like you and dear as you are I've no interest in marrying you.

Sometimes I envy men. No one hassles you about not being married at your age and my mother practically considers me an old maid and I'm only twenty years!

Amalia

  

[Arthur Pettigrew]

Miss Mia,

September 22nd

You're right, he's not a bad looking gent and I'm sure if he wanted to seduce me he'd manage it.

Traitor.

No you can't leave Quidditch! No! Not Okay! I am loudly protesting! Tell your mother she can fly her broom into a cave; you can't retire! I need you to smirk at during Harpy v. Howlers games it's not the same otherwise!

Don't retire to marry some boring fellow that's never done anything fun in his whole entire life! Your head will explode from boredom!

Art Pettigrew

[Amalia Qeb]

Arthur,

22 September 83

Now you're truly being dramatic. I don't want to leave quidditch but I don't have much of a choice. My mother is threatening to send me away and says that she is losing hope that I'll ever straighten out. Arthur if I don't do as she pleases I could be disowned from my family - that is how dreadfully serious my mother is about my apparent behavior.

I may have another month yet to play and I intend to make the very best of it all. I'll of course still go to your games and you can smirk at me in the stands though I'm not sure it will be quite the same. I just have to prepare my team captain. I'm fairly certain Grace will have the exact same reaction or at least extremely similar. But someone worthy will take my place and it will all be fine.

Now you've gone and really made me not want to get married. Thanks a lot. You're the best friend I could ever ask for. That was that sarcasm thing you so love to utilize, in case you weren't aware.

Amalia

  

[Arthur Pettigrew]

Miss Mia,

September 22nd

No one will be worthy and I am not being dramatic and it will not be even remotely the same!

I'm proud of you for using sarcasm. I've taught you well.

Also - you can be as sarcastic as you like, I know I'm your favorite anyways. Ha.

When are you not doing anything this week? Because we should see each other so I can be Dramatic in person.

Art Pettigrew

[Amalia Qeb]

Arthur,

22 September 83

Don't be ridiculous. Our second string chasers are brilliant. I'm not irreplacable.

I refuse to comment on the rest of that. You know I don't do favoritism.

I'm free on Thursday. Between mother and Mr. Winchester time is so much more hard to come by but I'm sure I could set some aside for you. After all I would loathe to miss your dramatics in person. Be sure to make it really brilliant, I need a good laugh!

Amalia

  

[Arthur Pettigrew]

Miss Mia,

September 22nd

You know you like me best. Don't lie.

I'd say I would swoop in on magic carpet to exaggerate the dramatics, but I got rid of my carpet. I will, however, be properly dramatic for you. Promise.

Art Pettigrew