The Irony Here

[Faunia Morzolla]

07 January, 1887

Even if Faun wasn't fully convinced Lou was dead, it still felt like it was getting to close to be six years with no contact. Her instincts told her Theo wouldn't punch just anyone in public, that it had to be their brother. But with no solid response from Theo, or any response to the letter she sent to Lou on hope that he really was alive, it was getting harder and harder to believe that her older brother was alive.

For the first time since she'd had a feeling that he wasn't dead, she was visiting his grave. She had little faith in her gift and nearly no hope that Lou was actually alive. She stubbornly pushed back her tears, she hadn't cried over a dead person for years, she wasn't about to start again now.

Still, the pain blossoming in her chest was hard to ignore and she wasn't sure how long she could hold her tears back.

@'Lupus Jameshill'

  

[Lupus Jameshill]

Lou had left out some of the details of his interaction with his younger brother when he'd relayed the story to Daniel later that night, which, he was convinced, was the only reason that the other man had agreed to let him leave the house at all after that. Lou didn't need anyone to keep him in the house for a solid week after that, however, to get his head wrapped around all of the new information he'd gleaned from his interaction with Theo.

He'd been under house arrest for the last five years, though, so his self-imposed confinement was bound not to last long. A week later Lou was not only restless, but had managed to convince himself that there was no harm in going back out into the world again--particularly if he avoided the main streets of Hogsmeade. It was common sense, really; his interaction with Miss MacKay in November had been flawless, while the one time he'd gone into Hogsmeade, he'd ended up getting punched in a bookstore. The black eye was gone, now, and Lou was ready to get back on the horse. He’d had a brief afternoon out at the end of December that had ended with a visit to the Ministry and an encounter with the younger Miss Fisk, which had just cemented the fact that he really didn’t have good luck in Hogsmeade proper.

He wasn’t sure about Irvingly, though, as far as places to visit went. Aside from the enchanting Muggle/magical zoo that Miss MacKay worked at, he wasn’t sure what else he would even be able to do in a town that didn’t allow magic. They wouldn’t sell any of the books he was interested in, or have any particularly interesting shops, he had decided. He could likely kill an enjoyable afternoon in that zoo, but he wasn’t sure what the probability of running into Miss MacKay was, since he didn’t know how many people were on staff there, and he didn’t want to give off the impression that he was… unduly interested in her. Since his initial assumption that she was married had proved untrue, Lou knew he had to avoid giving her the wrong impression about his intentions (or lack thereof) and his availability (or decided lack thereof).

Thinking along those lines had lead him to thinking, once again, of Xena. He wanted more information about what her life had become—information that he clearly couldn’t get from anyone around him, since Daniel, if he knew anything, would likely take that secret to his grave. Lou knew that there were records kept on people at the Ministry, but those were mostly on criminals—which Xena certainly wouldn’t qualify as—and he’d need his Auror’s access to get to them, which was rather impossible now. The only other way that Lou could think to “research” what had become of her was either doing some undercover work with one of her many siblings—not impossible, but certainly risky—or… this, gruesome as it was.

He didn’t expect to find Xena’s grave here. Not at all. But if he found another Fisk he might be able to piece together something of what her life had been like during the last five years. He might even find a child-sized grave from a miscarriage… but of course he wouldn’t even recognize that. It would be under some strange last name, and since he’d been told she’d moved abroad, the chances of any member of her new family being buried here were essentially zilch.

He did find a Mrs. Delia Fisk, however. Died 1884. Her gravestone read “Beloved Wife & Mother.” Delia was, he thought, Xena’s mother. So that was something. Not much to go on, but some piece of what her story had become once he’d no longer been a part of it.

It was cold, and Lou had nothing else to learn here, so he had turned to leave when he saw, out of the corner of his eye, a figure that looked familiar. He instinctively moved away (people who looked familiar being, by and large, bad news for Lou), but kept stealing glances, and realized that it was none other than his sister, at someone's grave.

This immediately sent his mind into a whirl. Who's grave would she be visiting? No one in their family was dead, he was fairly certain of that. Unless something had happened just recently--but Daniel would have told him, wouldn't he? Lou didn't trust his mother to be candid about anything she felt would upset him, but Daniel would have told him. Maybe Faunia was at the grave of a friend?

Maybe Xena?

She wouldn't have been buried with her mother if she'd gotten married. She'd be buried under her new last name, wherever her husband's plot was. Faun and Xena had always been inseparable, as far back as Lou could remember. Who else could she possibly be visiting?

He knew it was a bad idea to get any closer, but he had to see. He had to know.

Circling to the far edge of the cemetary so that he would be out of Faunia's line of sight, Lou crept towards her, being careful not to be noticed. He got up more or less behind her without her reacting to his presence, but he was still too far away to see the headstone. He knew if he got any closer the chances that she would see and recognize him rose exponentially, but he couldn't just walk away now, not knowing whose grave it was. Taking a deep breath, Lou crept a little closer, until the headstone became legible.

Lupus Charles Jameshill. 1853 - 1881.

Oh.

Suddenly all of the air was gone from Lou's chest. It hadn't occurred to him that he would have a grave here, but in hindsight of course he would. It was an odd experience, standing in front of his own empty grave--like staring death in the face.

He shouldn't be here. He needed to leave. Now.

Without saying a word to his sister, Lou turned and quickly started walking away, planning to Apparate out of there as soon as he was far enough away from her not to seem suspicious.

  

[Faunia Morzolla]

Faun wasn't sure how long she'd been there, starring at his grave, but it had to have been long enough for the bitter cold to make its way through her whole body. It was probably smart to go inside, but now that she was here, on the verge of tears, she wasn't sure how likely that was.

She knew she wouldn't have gone in any time soon, if it had just been her she'd had to worry about. But she had someone else to think about. She didn't want the child she was expecting to be born sick because their mother was to busy trying to not cry at her brother's grave.

With that in mind, she turned away from the grave only to catch a glimpse of the brother who should be buried. It wasn't possible. It just wasn't. Her eyes had to be playing tricks, especially since she'd just started to come to terms that her gift lied. A lot. And that he was most likely dead. Any day before her visit, she would have probably been pissed off that he could pretend to be dead for so long and not make any contact with her.

Even if Lou hadn't meant to make contact with Theo, he still should have at least sent a letter back saying he was, actually, alive. It wasn't like she'd wanted him to explain why he faked his own death... at least not in the letter. Now, that he was so close and really alive, she did want that explanation.

She started to open her mouth to call out to him, she wasn't exactly sure what she was going to say, when suddenly she started crying. Those tears... she'd managed to hold them back when she was starting at his grave... she wasn't sure what kind of tears they where.

She felt like it was sudden when she started moving – with more speed than she thought she'd be capable of – toward him, unsure of what she was going to do when he was right in front of her and not on the other side of the cemetery.

Where was he going? He had to have known it was his little sister, right? She hadn't changed that much in the six years he's been “dead”. Or had she? Physically, the only thing that might have changed was that she was expecting her third child, but she wasn't sure how much that would be apparent to him. What else had changed? She probably looked older, but not much. If she'd been twelve when he'd “died” then she could see why he might not reconise her, but she'd been barely twenty.

  

[Lupus Jameshill]

Lou was walking briskly and not looking back--forcing himself not to look back. He didn't reach the edge of the cemetary, however--or even a respectable enough distance from the grave that it would be unobtrusive to apparate away--before he realized that he was being followed. He could hear the rustle of skirts, the distinctive sound of a well-dressed woman trying and failing to move quickly. There was no reason that she would be fleeing his grave, none at all. No, she wasn't running away from anything, she was running towards. She must have seen him.

It would be cruel to leave now, he knew, after she had already caught a glimpse--a glimpse was enough to give you hope for years. But Lou wondered, thinking back over his interaction with Theo, if it wouldn't be crueler to stay. Theo had gotten his brother back, but at the expense of all his assumptions, the ideals that he held about their parents. Wouldn't it be better for Faunia to keep their parents intact? She needed parents. She didn't need a brother. She'd gotten along just fine without one, by the looks of it, for the past six years.

Lou's step faltered, and he had to take care not to trip on a bit of uneven ground. He ought to pay more attention to the ground below him as he walked, especially with ice still covering some patches here and there from the recent blizzard, but he was too distracted trying to think of what to do. As such, he wasn't paying attention when he accidentally knocked a bundle of flowers with his foot, causing the carefully laid bouquet to come apart in a strewn rainbow of flowers all across the grave.

Well, he couldn't leave that. He wasn't sure that facing his sister was the best idea, but dessicating some poor grave was an even worse one. Lou had enough problems without adding a haunting. Still feeling rather hurried, Lou dropped to his knees and started putting the flowers back in place, still making an effort not to acknowledge the approaching figure of his sister.

  

[Faunia Morzolla]

Faun flinched slightly when she saw him, accidentally, kick a vase of flowers over a grave, but wasn't going to complain at it slowing down Lou. She was still curious as to why he hadn't made contact or why he'd faked his own death, but she could push off those questions aside for the time being. 

When she finally caught up to him, despite wanting to help him clean up the mess, stood there awkwardly for a few seconds before finding her voice. 

'Lou?' She would have felt extremely foolish if it wasn't her older brother. What if it was just someone who looked like him but wasn't?

 What if she was just... projecting what she thought Lou might look like to some poor, poor, soul? What if she'd just startled this man and that's why he'd knocked over thr vase?

  

[Lupus Jameshill]

Lou heard her say his name as she approached and let his shoulder slump. This was the end of the line; nowhere to run now that she'd caught up with him. She recognized him, too, so there was nothing to say. He'd tried denying it when Theo had picked him out, and that... hadn't worked out to his best advantage, exactly. Not that he thought Faunia was likely to sock him one in the middle of a cemetary, but it was better to be safe than sorry.

This was exactly what he'd been trying to avoid when he'd told Theo it was better if she didn't know. He couldn't explain his continuing existence in any way that would keep from hurting her--either she'd have to believe that he willingly abandoned them, or she'd have to learn the truth about their parents--that they had, in fact, abandoned him. Neither one of those were conversations that he'd much wanted to have with anyone else again. The emotional roller coaster that was his reunion with Theo was more than enough for... well, probably a lifetime.

But he couldn't avoid it now. Even a snap disapparation wouldn't get what she'd already seen out of her head--besides, it would be the cowardly thing to do, running away after she'd already recognized him.

Feeling utterly defeated before they'd even begun, he muttered, "Hi, Faun."

  

[Faunia Morzolla]

Faun was torn between hugging, punching, and demanding answers from her brother. Where had he been the past years and why hadn't he had any contact with anyone in the family. Not that she had any excuse for ignoring their father and distancing herself from their mother, but she hadn't been declared dead and had a whole funeral or caused her family to mourn.

So she hovered just behind him and kept her arms firmly at her side.  She would try to not punch him. 'How are you still alive, Lou?' she asked after a few false starts. Her mouth felt dry, the cold didn't bother her anymore. 

'Why would our parents fake your death?' because that was the only explanation she could think of, she wanted to think her older brother wouldn't just game his own death. Even if he did, it didn't explain why he wouldn't answer any letters or make sure she and Theo at least knew he wasn't dead.

  

[Lupus Jameshill]

Lou had his head hung in resigned despair, ready for his conversation with Theo to happen all over again. He'd opened his mouth to respond, to explain that it wasn't anything like she thought--except apparently she was far closer to the truth than Lou could possibly have imagined. Why would their parents fake his death? Lou had no idea why she'd jumped to that--but, well, she'd always had something of a sixth sense for these things. As far as he knew she never had actual visions, or anything, but she did tend to assume things that normal people wouldn't be able to assume, and be right an uncanny amount of the time.

"Well," he said, honestly thrown off. The jump from zero--I'm not dead--to sixty--Our parents faked my death--was somewhat dizzying. He'd only gotten to that point with Theo after a good deal of talking and a slight amount of physical violence. "I--I don't know. It wasn't exactly... ugh, up for discussion." That was really understating things. He hadn't even known that he was 'dead' until after the funeral.

"I didn't get your letters," he blurted out. "Not until... two weeks ago. They--ugh, they sort of... censored... well, my whole life, I suppose," he said, at a loss for how to say it. He still hadn't forgiven Daniel for screening the mail from his siblings out, but he didn't want to throw him under the Knight Bus, so to speak. He'd just been following orders, after all, even if it was... seriously misguided.

  

[Faunia Morzolla]

Faun was honestly surprised that she was right. It wasn't meant to be taken seriously, but she could see her father faking his oldests 'death' to protect the family. Hopefully her shock didn't show on her face. Hopefully. It probably did. She didn't know what her face was doing anymore.

She tilted her head, whipping whowever evidence of tears away. 'Why would they hide your letters?' If the family could hold such a secret, that he was a werewolf, and not say anything to outsiders... surely, surely they could'vebeen trusted to know that their sibling wasn't dead. They where good enough actors to make it through a funeral and a mourning period without rising to much suspicion. 

She rubbed her shoulder, trying to not tense anymore than she already was. 'Did you even try to write to us?'

  

[Lupus Jameshill]

Oh, his siblings gave him so little credit. Theo had assumed that he'd been the architect of his own death, that he'd run away because he didn't want to deal with them any more. Faun thought he'd just peacefully sat through whatever fate their father had cococted for him, and that he'd never once thought about them or tried to write. Well, to be fair, he hadn't tried to write, but that was only because he knew it would never have worked--he didn't have access to an owl, since Daniel was the keeper of the only one in the cabin. The rules had been explained to Lou as soon as he'd heard about his 'death'; he was not to contact anyone. The only reason he'd stayed in touch with his mother was because she had written him, and he wasn't even entirely sure that she'd gotten all of his responses, or if Daniel had screened out the more... colorful ones.

"I didn't have an owl," he said evasively--he didn't want to lie and say he'd written, but he thought if he admitted that he hadn't, she'd take it the wrong way. "It's not like I've been exactly living the high life since I 'died.'"

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   Faunia Morzolla

[Faunia Morzolla]

Faun's eyes narrowed at her older brother. That sounded more like an excuse than anything else, but what could she say? She could demand to know if he'd kept any letters he might have tried to write, but he could say he'd burnt them because he didn't have access to an owl. He made it sound like someone had an owl and had managed to contact him.

She didn't say anything on the matter, however, it would do no good to get angry at reading into something that probably wasn't there.  'Why would you come back now?' she wondered quietly. 'I'm sure you're life what you thought it'd be at this point, but... not having to deal with all the bullshit that comes with being wealthy had to have been...' she struggled to find the words she was looking for.

Relaxing? Maybe. But she didn't think that was the word she was hunting for. She couldn't think of what word she wanted to use, so that's the word she settled on. '... in a sense, relaxing.'

  

[Lupus Jameshill]

Lou was not a stranger to the sensation that she was describing, but the way that she phrased it caught him off guard. Of all of their siblings he had experienced the shift from middle to upper class latest in life, and the resulting shift in expectations. He'd had a chance to form his own ideas about what he wanted to do with his life, before he had become the heir to a wealthy nouveau riche family, and had had to abandon those in search of something more fitting to his new stature. He'd had to deal with how very different a thing like romance was when one had money, as he'd watched his less fortunate friends and peers struggle to hold a woman's attention on more than one occasion. All that being said, however, Faunia's dismissal of their fortune--of how fortunate she was to be comfortable--struck a very sour note for Lou, who for six years had had nothing, except what his parents gave him to keep him alive.

"Being a prisoner isn't relaxing," he said coolly, honestly feeling a little betrayed at how dismissive she was. Did she really think that he was so shallow that he'd prefer to run around on his own, living the relatively consequence-free life of the lower class, at the expense of his family, of everyone he'd ever loved or cared about?

"I guess maybe it gave me a sense of perspective," he said with a frown. The age gap between him and Faunia hadn't exactly made them bosom companions even before his disappearance, but he'd always been so fond of her--had his absence really formed such a huge chasm between them? How could she have been so cavalier, so blindly oblivious to the pain he'd been in over the past few years?