Issue #3 - Interview with Fitzroy Prewett

[Witch Weekly]

  

[Witch Weekly]

For a very pleasant social affair, the rule is not to have the company when seated exceed twelve in number. With a party of that size, the conversation can be general and all are likely to feel more at ease with each other.

The Girl on Fire: How to Avoid Dinnertime Disaster Though the social season of 1884 has been rather sadly eclipsed by death and disease, we at Witch Weekly believe grief is no excuse to avoid one’s loved ones. The dinner party, then, is the ideal blend of intimacy and formality, perfect for entertaining one’s friends with the appropriate degree of solemnity for a party in mourning! Table Manners. There is nothing more important than observing one’s manners when seated at a dinner table, at home or abroad, and any self-respecting young witch much strive to keep her body straight at all times, never leaning, by any means, with her elbows lest she be mistaken for a brute! Demonstrating a voracious appetite is also considered unseemly, and one should never talk when one has meat in one’s mouth. It may well be the last invitation you receive! It is also very uncomely to drink so large a draught that your breath is almost gone, and are forced to blow strongly to recover yourself. Throwing down your liquor as into a funnel is an action fitter for a juggler than a gentlewoman! "There is nothing more important than observing one’s manners when seated at a dinner table." To Extinguish Fire in the Female Dresses. Sadly, so many fatal accidents arise from the carelessness of young witches setting their dresses alight by way of candles smoldering on the table - Miss Jane Wren has been the most recent, tragic example - but Witch Weekly has put together an extremely handy guide for averting disaster should smoke begin to rise, particularly in the absence of a wand! 1. Aguamenti. A wand, naturally, should be sought as the first defence against flames, and this particular spell has been, quite literally, a life-saver. 2. Flames, as is commonly known, tend to burn upward: the young witch should then be aware that she will burn more rapidly if upright than if laid on the floor, and adjust herself accordingly until help is proffered. 3. Give instant alarm by screaming or pulling the bell (which is usually, in any civilised home, near the fireplace). Help will shortly follow. 4. In the absence of a wand, the female may be rolled in a rug in order to combat the flames. Alternatively, in extreme circumstances (propriety, of course, cannot be abandoned willy nilly!), tearing off the burnt clothes, or turning her clothes over her head may prevent death. 5. A man may quickly strip off his coat and wrap it around a female until magical help is given. 6. If the victim cannot save herself entire, let her protect her bosom and the face by crossing her hands and arms over these parts; burns are by no means attractive, but one can lessen the social damage.

  

[Witch Weekly]

15 Facts About Rufina Mulciber We were all thoroughly impressed by the Black Ball that took place in Wellingtonshire in the beginning of this month. The guests were left impressed with the excellent planning and those who didn’t get to attend wished that they could. The person behind that exquisite ball was no other but Mrs. Rufina Mulciber. You are not quite sure who Mrs. Mulciber is? Well, this is your lucky day! We at Witch Weekly has gathered x facts about this talented hostess only for our readers. Mrs. Rufina Mulciber, one of the most prominent socialites of our generation. 1. Her full name is Rufina Elizabeth Mulciber and she was born a Longbottom. 2. She was born in the November 7th, 1855, making her twenty-eight years old. 3. That also makes her a Scorpio! 4. She has six sisters and one brother. 5. Two of her sisters were tragically lost; Mrs. Matilda Krum to a murderer back in November 1883 and Mrs. Gladys Wilde to the Laughing Plague this summer. 6. During her time at Hogwarts, she was a Slytherin. 7. She also served as a prefect. 8. She married Mr. Ernest Mulciber, an unspeakable, on July 9th, 1876. 9. Prior to that, she was betrothed to his older brother, who found a tragic death due to splinching in 1874! 10. She has one stepson, Mr. Meriweather Mulciber, a current Ravenclaw second year and one daughter, Miss Flora Mulciber aged six. 11. Both stepson and daughter are betrothed to Lestranges; Mr. Mulciber to Miss Meta Lestrange, daughter of Chief Warlock Orestes Lestrange and Miss Mulciber to Mr. Archelaus Lestrange, son of Mr. Orestes Lestrange’s younger brother Priam Lestrange. 12. Her last order at Rosa Lee Teabag consisted of Earl Grey. 13. Inside sources inform us that she has six parasols! 14. And thirteen pair of shoes! 15. Lastly, she is a supporter of the Chudley Cannons, for which her younger brother, keeper Justice Longbottom played for until recently.

  

[Witch Weekly]

Interview with Fitzroy Prewett I am sure we were all relieved to find out that Mr. Fitzroy Prewett was at last released from Azkaban. However, despite the fact that our friends at the Daily Prophet did a great job at giving us the facts surrounding his release, they kept us completely in the dark about Mr. Prewett’s feelings on the matter and the long weeks of horror that he had to spend in prison. But you will not be in the dark for long! Our team contacted Mr. Prewett, who was kind enough to tell us everything surrounding his unfair imprisonment and his odyssey in Azkaban. Hello Mr. Prewett! Thank you so much for agreeing to do this interview! To start, what was the first thing you did as soon as you were released? Raced home to grab my broom! I had little time between being freed and the start of the match against the Howlers. “As a quidditch player, I don’t care for being grounded.” Who was the first person you wrote to? I did not have time to write before the game, though I suppose my first letter afterwards was a note to Mr. Pettigrew, to let him know how the match went. It was, I think, absolutely criminal that they would not let him out in time over a few galleons. What was the thing you missed most in prison? The sky. I suppose prisoners incarcerated properly get a bit of a view, but as we were just being held, we were on the ground floor. As a quidditch player, I don’t care for being grounded. You were not alone in the cell - you shared with Mr. Arthur Pettigrew and your own brother! Did that make the whole ordeal any more bearable? I highly recommend Mr. Pettigrew if anyone is seeking a prison companion. His is such a cheerful nature that even the dementors made him merely ‘average’ in that regard. My brother,

“It broke my heart to watch my brother sob day and night.” however, I could have done without. It broke my heart to watch him sob day and night, and that heartbreak nearly made my stay unbearable. How did you deal with the dementors’ presence? What is your advice for our readers if they ever happen to be around some? We were fortunate: the holding cells see only infrequent visits by those ghastly creatures. But when they were present...I’m afraid there is nothing that can be done for them under such circumstances. Do you think your imprisonment was unfair? Entirely. While I am not so self-righteous as to think any punishment out of order, I do not think that, under the circumstances, there was any reason to hold us. We’re quidditch players, not mass-murderers. We were hardly about to go anywhere. What do you have to say to the families of the deceased? What about the teammates that so selfishly betrayed you and let you and the other two gentlemen take all the blame? It was not selfishness but my own urging that saw the other players depart. I have always put my friends before myself, and this was no different: they would not be caught in the crossfire. As to the deceased? They died having a jolly good time. Thank you for this interview, Mr. Prewett! To finish this, do you have any last words? A piece of advice you’d like to give to our readers? Even in your darkest hour, remember that your mother loves you.

  

[Witch Weekly]

Dear Mrs Aidsworth... A meddling mother-in-law is an ill to be borne with dignity. Dear Mrs Aidsworth, I have now been married a twelvemonth to my beloved husband, and am delighted to say that I am now with my first child. I would say that I had been happily married if it were not for one factor- my new mother-in-law has refused to remove herself to the dower house as is proper since I have become mistress of the house- indeed, I would say that I am only mistress of the house in name, for she has not allowed me a say or hand in running everything. She plans the meals with the cook, manages the servants and even oversees the stables! The only say I get is in sending the dinner invitations- for it would be improper for her to do so- and even then my husband insists I allow her to compile the guest list! Indeed, his stance makes everything so much worse! When I was a debutante all my elders said to see how a man treats his mother to see how he shall treat you as a wife, and I am sure I have never seen such a devoted son! I am sure he sees no harm in her acting so, but I cannot help but feel like my rights as lady of the house are being compromised! Yours in desperation, Mrs Displaced My dear Mrs Displaced, it does indeed seem like you have been handed a bad lot for a mother-in-law, for whilst I am sure you are nothing but a lady and so would not dare lower yourself to shouting and storming, a true lady would also not be so meddling nor cause such an imposition. It is fortunate indeed that you are with child- the arrival of a child may force her out of the house, and indeed a child shall no doubt adore you as your husband adores his mama. If nothing else, the child shall give you a diversion from your mother-in-law’s horrendous imposition. For now I would urge you to bide your time- many people would pay good money for such an efficient ‘housekeeper’ to manage everything, and it gives you the chance to be a true lady of leisure. Spend your days growing your baby as strong as possible- I am sure several days spent doing nothing but resting on a chaise and eating grapes would do you no harm at all. Perhaps also suggest that she issues the invitations from now on- such a thing would be highly improper for her to do, but it may bring to her attention the impropriety of her interference if she is completely ignorant of the distress she is bringing- which I fear she is not, but I wish you all the best. And if any mothers reading should identify this situation as to the one they have with their own daughter-in-law, I urge you, Madam, to come to your senses as fast as you can and to humbly apologise for your behaviour. If nothing else, your daughter-in-law has time on her side. Yours sincerely, Mrs Harmony Aidsworth

Dear Mrs Aidsworth, I am the mistress of a house of no inconsiderable size, and whilst my husband and my children and I conducted a tour of France this summer just past- in an effort to escape the laughing sickness- we left the house in the more than capable hands of our housekeeper and three maids (with the gardener and stable staff, of course). Shortly after we returned home the housekeeper asked for an audience with me, where she expressed a belief that one of the maids had been getting rather light fingered! I was naturally so shocked that I had to send for smelling salts to revive me! The housekeeper herself has been with my husband's family upwards of thirty years and is beyond reproach, and two of the maids we left with her are trustworthy girls, both from good families in the village. The suspicion, therefore, must fall on the third but although several items have gone missing- such as one or two stud earrings and several silver teaspoons- they are all such small items that they could easily have been just displaced. I'd hate to dismiss the girl unfairly, for she had nowhere else to turn for references, but if she is a thief, then I cannot suffer her under my roof any longer! Yours, Concerned An untrustworthy maid is not to be tolerated! Concerned, this is a horrible place to find a lady such as yourself in! First and foremost, I would advocate never hiring a member of staff you cannot trust fully. We women are especially sensitive to the deceit that may lie under even the most honest-appearing girl, and your own suspicion on the matter should be more than enough grounds to take action. Of course, it would not be proper to act without due reason, and men are often rather blasé and doubt a woman's intuition. I suggest that you take a sickle and leave it under the rug in one of the rooms the maid is to clean. If she finds and gives you the coin, then she may be kept under supervision, however if she does not give you the coin back then you have all the proof you need of her thieving ways! If the coin is still there, then she is undoubtedly lax in her work and to blame for the items being misplaced.If you are of such a compassionate spirit that you cannot dismiss her without references or get the authorities involved, have your husband reprimand her, and look at having her removed to the laundry- the scullery would be too great a temptation, working with the silver- or find her a position with an attentive cottager who can supervise her work better in a smaller house, and without the temptation of the riches of a grander house. Yours sincerely, Mrs Harmony Aidsworth

  

[Witch Weekly]