24 February 1885

[Daily Prophet]

FEBRUARY 24TH 1885

"GIRL OF THE OCEAN" DORAN'S REVIEW OF THE PLAY

Normally I hesitate to call anything the "worst thing to happen to its sort of thing in the history of the thing." After all, if one starts to throw labels like that around, they lose all meaning, and we are left with over-critical critiques that are less useful than a piece of wet tissue. That said, "Girl of the Ocean" was the worst play I have ever seen in my life so far. It is the worst thing to happen to plays in years. Every actor involved looked as if they wanted to set themselves on fire, which is exactly how I felt after Act I. It was only the thought that it could not possibly be worse in Act II that got me to sit through the thing, and it managed to exceed my expectations by being far, far worse. _____________________________________________________________

The writing was awful. The acting was awful. The costumes were awful. If you believe in the "Macbeth" curse, then you should join me in assuming that everyone involved with "Girl of the Ocean" had to have said the word Macbeth seven hundred times before they came on stage. It was that awful. The only good thing about this play is that it makes the rest of your life look excellent by comparison. I do not recommend it in the slightest. AUTHOR: GULLIVER DORAN

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