Nothing Ever Changes

[Ixion Swift]

• Ixion wasn't used to having so much time at home. After nothing more than letters and brief conversations in passing with his wifeùand even less with his childrenùfor month, it was odd to suddenly be sharing meals with her, to have free time. He had decided that perhaps it would be best to ease into it, and his Quidditch coaching had been the better for it. He'd been finding ways to keep himself occupied away from home; arriving early to practices, staying afterwards for solo sessions with various members of the team. Nights without Quidditch practices, however, it was rather impossible to avoid the house entirely. At the very least, he had to make an appearance for dinner, which would doubtless lead to the awkwardness as they tried in vain to keep to some semblance of normality.
  
  There was meatloaf for dinner tonight, he observed as he came in. He was drifting through the kitchen instead of using the front door because he'd just returned from a late-afternoon flight, and didn't feel the need to walk around the house from the broom storage closet in the back of the house to the front door. On the way in he also peaked into the aviary, and realized that in neglecting home he had also been neglecting his birds. He ought to go and spend some time with them after dinner, he thought, filing that away as a useful excuse to pull out later, if he wanted to cut away from dinner. He ought to stay, to make things work, he knew; otherwise it would never get better. But if it was too awkwardùwell, it was meat loaf. He wasn't missing out on much. There would be more awkward dinners with Letitiaùmany, many more.
  
  She was already in the room when he arrived, which made him sheepish before they'd even started. "Good evening, Letitia," he said as he took his customary place at the table.

  

[Letitia Swift]

DATE: May 2nd, 1883

TAG: Ixion

WORDS: 320

OUTFIT

NOTES:

It was strange to have someone at home when she returned from Hogwarts but at the same time Ixion was just as often not there as he was there when she got home, perhaps more so the former. It was painfully awkward around him and to her it got more so the more she took note of the awkwardness. There were many things about a marriage that were difficult but they shouldn't be awkward if a wife did her duty and while she had striven to do all she could to be the best wife regardless of whether he was in Bulgaria, England or eating cheese on the moon, it seemed she had failed somewhere down the line but the problem was she couldn't figure out how or where. It seemed the more she noticed the awkwardness, the more suffocating it felt to her, as it were a pillow someone was holding down over her face.

Lettie hadn't known if he would be joining her for dinner that evening and still didn't know as she sat at the table though she intended to wait at least fifteen minutes for him in case he showed. She only waited five, however, before he walked in. The tension suddenly hit her and the ocean of failure that she felt as though she were drowning in, suddenly seemed in greater danger of pulling her under. "Good evening, Ixion," she replied in a slightly subdued manner rather than her usual, somewhat abrupt manner.

She sat there and tried think of things to say to distract from the feeling of guilt and failure. Small talk was all she could muster. "How was your day?" she asked slowly, eyes diverted from his and seemingly very interested in the silverware. "How is the team coming along?" she asked, her eyes looking up at him as she spoke and then returning to the silverware when she was done speaking.

  

[Ixion Swift]

Ixion frowned as he sat. "There was no Quidditch practice today," he said simply. "So I assume they're much the same as yesterday." It seemed like the sort of thing she ought to have known. Was it, though? Before Vraska, had she known his schedule better? He didn't remember. It was probably his fault for not telling her, but he didn't think that he should have to go out of his way to inform her of such things.

If they actually conversed, things like that would come up in conversation. Ixion didn't think of that, though; they were simply stuck in this constant cycle of not talking and then being alarmed by how much they didn't talk and not talking more.

The cook brought dinner out. "How was your day?" he asked hesitantly.

  

[Letitia Swift]

DATE: May 2nd, 1883

TAG: Ixion

WORDS: 196

OUTFIT

NOTES:

Lettie pursed her lips a little as he called he more or less corrected her for not being aware of what he was up to. Nothing was how it ought to be; she ought to know when he was working and when he was not, she ought to know far more than she currently did. What had happened to them? It wasn't as though they had ever been a pair of smitten lovers but they had always been functional, they always had mutual respect for each other and things had just... worked whereas now it was as though someone had unpicked the seams of their marriage and everything was collapsing as a result. "I see," she finally replied, making an effort to avoid his eyes.

The food was finally brought and that would at least bring a distraction to the conversation. "No different from usual," she answered shortly, not meaning to be so but the tension and all the stress she was under was making it increasingly difficult to be anything but. "I handed in my note of resignation today," she added as if it was an afterthought, the reality being that she'd forgotten at first.

  

[Ixion Swift]

"Oh," Ixion replied immediately. Had Lettie told him she was resigning? She must have. Otherwise he would have been more shocked, which he wasn't. Probably she had told him and he'd forgotten. That was logical. Probably he'd filed it away as momentarily unimportant, as she wouldn't be resigning until the end of the school year, anyway. She wasn't the type to quit anything half through. Neither was he, really.

Academically speaking, Ix knew that he and Letitia were very similar in personality, and he knew that theirs had been a functional and reasonably affectionate marriage for over seventeen years, but it suddenly didn't feel like they had anything in common at all. Could a few months in Bulgaria have changed him so drastically? Or perhaps the year of teaching had changed her? They were always changing, he reasoned, but before they'd been changing together, and when he'd gone away they'd gotten out of sync.

"What do you expect the response will be?" he asked, focusing his attention on serving himself a slab of meatloaf.

  

[Letitia Swift]

DATE: May 2nd, 1883

TAG: Ixion

WORDS: 257

OUTFIT

NOTES:

Lettie was quite sure she hadn't mentioned her decision to him as of yet, not to anyone at all besides the Headmaster himself for it had been a rather difficult thing to decide. It felt like quitting to her, that was how she had rationalized it when she had first considered it a couple months back, and she was anything but a quitter. As the weeks had passed, however, they had grown more difficult and when Ixion had returned, the strain in their relationship made it even worse. She couldn't reform all those children with as little time as she got with them and without teaching them one on one, she had bitten off more than she could chew and to return to her marriage which felt sickeningly precarious, she couldn't handle it anymore. It wasn't quitting if she stayed until June, not really.

"I should expect something curt and polite, he cannot exactly deny me resignation; I stated my reasons and offered my services as a substitute should it be necessary. I intend to return to my former way of working as soon as possible." The pay was in many cases better than that of Hogwarts though Hogwarts had the advantage of offering more stability.

"Do you know yet if you'll be returning to Bulgaria?" she asked coolly. Despite the almighty awkwardness hanging in the air between them, she didn't want him going back. The longer he was away, the worse it would get and she wanted the rift between them to disappear rather than expand.

  

[Ixion Swift]

Ixion looked down at his plate, focusing on cutting the meat instead of focusing on his wife. "They've offered me another season with Vraska," he informed her dryly. "I haven't given them an answer yet and told them I wouldn't until after the World Cup. The players are expecting me back, but it is rather difficult to manage things from a distance," he said, taking a small bite, chewing, and then washing it down with a sip from his glass. Quiet hung in the air, disrupted only by the clink of silverware and, distantly, muffled, a hint of conversation between two servants in the kitchen.

"The matter of Ismene's betrothal, for instance. Without the distance I certainly could have wrapped that up ages ago. Now I've got much on my plate, and your nephew has asked to court her. Court her. Once she's graduated. I'm not convinced that leaving things unsettled for two more years is a good course of action, nevermind the romanticism," he said dismissively, waiting to see whether Letitia would defend him or not.

  

[Letitia Swift]

DATE: May 2nd, 1883

TAG: Ixion

WORDS: 333

OUTFIT

NOTES:

Lettie's heart sank with disappointment as he confirmed that he had a place to return to and that almost certainly meant he was taking it up, where else would he work? His old post at Hogwarts was taken. She remained dutifully silent as he continued, listening to him but staring at her food as she began to slice into it slowly. She didn't know how she'd manage with him gone again, even if his being back was awkward and not how she wanted it to be. Cassandra was married, Ismene and Myles were at school and she was to return to her former occupation and return each night to an empty house. As it was she returned to one anyway but it hadn't been so bad before Cassie had married and gone to live with her husband, it would just be cold and empty after the summer with Ismene and Myles and Ixion back to their respective places in September.

As for Ismene's betrothal... "The boy seems quite ardent in his intention to court Ismene and she could certainly do worse, however, I quite agree with your sentiments; a betrothal is safer and subject to less disruption." For all that Lettie thought that marriage was more like an amiable business arrangement rather than an institution for love, she sympathized with her nephew's cause. Perhaps it was because she had suspected it briefly or because she felt out of sorts in her own marriage but either way, she almost wanted to encourage it. Almost. "Whatever happens - betrothal or not - Ismene will find herself a very good husband. She might very well catch the eye of someone with great wealth and influence at her Coming Out - she's pretty enough and I don't think anyone can deny her being well-mannered and sensible." With something to talk about that she was a little surer of, she felt a little less tense in her husband's presence though it still wasn't how it used to be.

  

[Ixion Swift]

Ix frowned at her statements, honestly not sure if it was what he wanted to hear or not. Of course, when he thought of it in such terms, he had no doubts that his darling Ismene would be able to attract a noble husband when she reached seventeen, but he hadn't had any doubts on that subject with Cassandra, either. It was more a question of--well, honestly, of quashing any romantic notions. The entire concept of courting was a bit too impractical for his tastes, as it relied quite heavily on the woman's choice, and he had always been rather of the impression that the man should be taking the responsibility for finding and securing the marriage. It was how he had done it, even though Letitia had agreed amiably enough.

"Well," he said reluctantly as he eyed a piece of meat on his plate. "Suppose we give it the summer and see." See how Mr. Figg and Ismene interacted, certainly; if he was going to play the lovesick puppy dog and not be a man about it, the match would be doomed. Perhaps during the summer Ixion could also see how Ismene interacted with society in general; although she was not yet out, she would be exposed to all manner of folk during the Quidditch World Cup, and it might be a good indicator of what kind of company she attracted, and how sound her judgement regarding the company of men might be--not that he had any serious doubts on that front.

The more he considered it, the better the choice seemed. "After the summer we'll be able to make a more informed decision. After all, she's young enough that a few months more won't hurt her prospects."

  

[Letitia Swift]

DATE: May 2nd, 1883

TAG: Ixion

WORDS: 222

OUTFIT

NOTES:

"You are quite right," she agreed dutifully. It was difficult to say much more without feeling the awkward atmosphere too thick to handle. So Letitia fell silent and concentrated on her meal instead. For all that she felt it of the highest importance to behave with absolute flawless decorum, prudence and gentility, sometimes she did find the bindings of her own beliefs a little suffocating. Now was one such occasion; she wanted to somehow amend their marriage and yet she didn't dare mention it, it might insinuate that she found him displeasing as a husband and that was not at all the case.

Lettie saw Ixion as perhaps the closest of friends and yet at the same time she did not consider them 'friends' and there was a certain tentativeness that was never more present than it was now. She had tried her hardest to be the model wife, the perfect feminine presence to run a man's home and yet somehow they were not in a marriage where all ran smoothly and both parties felt as fulfilled as could be. It was Lettie's sincerest belief that the trouble in their marriage was some flaw on her end, that she had neglected to do something terribly important, the problem was, she couldn't figure out what that was. "At least Cassandra is settled comfortably."

Their dinner and probably many dinners to come would go on as such with awkward silences and strained conversation. It unsettled Lettie greatly but she would never speak of it.