Issue #1 - The 10 Most Dashing Professors at Hogwarts

[Witch Weekly]

  

[Witch Weekly]

Contributed by none other than the lovely Yente Ventus herself.

Recipe of the Century: Bubble and Squeak Take from a round of beef which haws been well boiled and cold, two or three slices, amounting to about one pound to one an a half pound in weight two carrots which have been boiled with the joint, in a cold state, as also the hearts of two boiled greens that are cold. Cut the meat into small dice-formed pieces, and chop up the vegetables together; pepper and salt the latter, and fry them with the meat in a pan with a quarter pound of sweet butter; when fully done, add to the pan in which the ingredients are fried, half a gill of fresh catsup, and serve your dish up to the dinner table with mashed potatoes. The above is an economical and favorite dinner.

  

[Witch Weekly]

What's Your Actual Hogwarts House? I trust that most of our readers have attended Hogwarts, so it goes without a doubt to say that they’ve been sorted into one of the four Houses. But that also happened years ago for some and a quiet and shy girl could always blossom into a popular socialite. What if a Hufflepuff at eleven becomes a Slytherin at thirty one? And what about those who were never quite convinced that the Hat placed them in the right house? This quiz was created from us to you to answer all of your questions! 1. You are planning to attend a fancy dress ball and your best friend tells you about their idea which is quite frankly rather eccentric. What do you do when they ask for your opinion? A. Encourage them to go with it! It’s a fancy dress ball anyway and it never hurts to take a risk! B. Don’t say anything and be prepared to give them a shoulder to cry on when they make a fool of themselves. C. Give them your honest opinion as politely as possible. D. Don’t say anything. If they look bad then you’ll only look better! 2. You’ve just heard that your least favourite sister-in-law has been unfaithful to her husband! If her secret’s out she could be ruined, but the entire family could be ridiculed for a time as well. What do you do? A. Tell everyone! It would be unfair for her husband to remain in the dark and she was terrible anyway! B. Keep her secret. She might be insufferable, but she’s still family! C. Keep her secret from the public, but still discreetly inform her husband of her infidelity. D. Keep her secret but only so you can blackmail her for it. The famous Sorting Hat. It's notorious for its wisdom, but is it really that wise? 3. You meet a man who seems perfect for you, but your older sister (who has had three unsuccesful seasons already) is also interested with him and might have a chance of getting courted! What do you do? A. Step back and even try to get the two together! B. Step back! Surely you’ll meet other men and you’d hate to stand on your sister’s way! C. Let the gentleman pick for himself. If he’d rather court you than your sister, then it’d be foolish to ruin your chances as well as hers! D. Don’t step back and even try to encourage the gentleman to pick you. Your sister had three chances already. It’s your turn to shine!

Hogwarts school of Witchcraft and Wizardry! 4. Your best friend’s wedding to her betrothed is in a month and she admits to you of making plans to run away with a man below her station. What do you do when you ask for her help? A. Help her, of course! One should always follow their heart and eloping has always been thrilling! B. Help her, even if reluctantly so. You know that she’ll likely do it anyway, so you can at least keep her from making it worse for herself. C. Try to talk her out of it. If you’re unsuccessful, then tell her parents. D. Tell her betrothed! He’s quite wealthy and the two of you always got along! If she doesn’t want him, then someone who actually deserves him could get him! 5. What kind of man is ideal for you? A. Someone brave, courageous and gallant. B. Someone friendly and kind who’d want a big family. C. Someone with a good head on his shoulders. D. Someone who can keep you comfortable. If you had the most As…. You’re a Gryffindor! If you’ve already been sorted there, then congratulations! You’re a true lionheart! You’re a brave, courageous person who loves taking a risk from time to time. Be careful, though. While bravery and courage are good traits to have, they can often put you in bad situations! Never do anything silly just for the thrill of it! If you had the most Bs…. You’re a Hufflepuff! Many might consider it the “useless” house, but that is not true at all! You’re humble and loyal and those are traits that all women should strive to have! You’d always do what is best for your family and you’d never boast even when you’d have every right to do so! Just make sure not to let your relatives and friends to get away with bad things just out of your loyalty for them! If you had the most Cs…. You’re a Ravenclaw! You’re intelligent and creative! Your friends always come to you for advice, because you always give good one. You don’t hesitate to tell them when they’re wrong but you still try not to be hurtful about it! Remember, though. While it’s good to have a good head on your shoulders, you should listen to your heart from time to time too! If you had the most Ds…. You’re a Slytherin! You’re clever, cunning and ambitious! You have a sense of self-preservation and you’d always do what would benefit you most. Even if it’s hurtful for others! While those are certainly useful traits to have, you should also strive to be more empathetic! It’s never good for a person to only doe what benefits them most!

  

[Witch Weekly]

The 10 Most Dashing Professors at Hogwarts With Hogwarts back in session there is one question on every young witch's mind: who is the most dashing of the professors to grace the halls of Hogwarts? We at Witch Weekly have done our best to answer that question for you! #10: C. James Ellesborough This 29-year-old middle class pureblood was previously an opera singer; however, this year he took up the post of Music professor. Professor Ellesborough is currently single, although there are rumors that he had a liaison with a veela in the park earlier this year. #9: Ambrose Bell At 36, Mr. Bell is a pureblood of the middle class and in his second year serving as Flight instructor and the referee for quidditch at Hogwarts. Mr. Bell's face may be familiar to some readers, as he was a chaser with Puddlemere United from 1865 to 1876. He was widowed that same year, and is currently the single father of a small daughter. Surely the right young woman will melt his heart and lead him to matrimonial bliss once more! #8: R. A. William Rutledge The longest standing professor at Hogwarts, Professor Rutledge had just entered his 39th year teaching History of Magic, and he is the Ravenclaw Head of House as well. At 61, middle class muggleborn Professor Rutledge is in his second marriage — both to former students! — and has two children. Recently he also science received custody of his nephew, who was orphaned in the plague. Despite his lack of availability for matrimony, Professor Rutledge certainly makes a full subject more bearable! #7: Elliot Carmichael An upper class halfblood, 25-year-old Professor Carmichael is in his second year teaching Divination at Hogwarts. While his uncle, James Carmichael, made some unfortunate remarks during the recent campaign (which we at Witch Weekly will not lower ourselves to repeat!), Professor Carmichael appears to hold much more reasonable views and is currently single. #6: Mason Skeeter Another second year professor, middle class halfblood Professor Skeeter is 27 and quite single! The Herbology professor has a tendency to look somewhat disheveled, but a good wife will certainly correct that.

#5: Sylvestre Pascal Originally from France, Professor Pascal is a 26-year-old upper class halfblood and in his first year teaching Earth Magic at Hogwarts. Professor Pascal is a second son and single, and I am certain that his addition to the Hogwarts staff is very much welcomed by the female students! #4: Xuan Miguel Espina Merlo Professor Espina is a Spaniard, and a 26-year-old middle class halfblood. He was set to marry Miss Elena Greyback last December, but the wedding (reportedly planned to occur in Spain) passed with Professor Espina still single and no longer tied to Miss Greyback — much, I am sure, to the delight of our readers! While this is only Professor Espina's second year teaching Arithmancy at Hogwarts, he previously taught the same subject at Beauxbatons. #3: Nikolai Sleptov The Defense Against the Dark Arts professor since 1877, Professor Sleptov previously held the same post at Koldovstoretz and, before that, was an auror with the Russian ministry. The 46-year-old upper class halfblood married his second wife in August of 1883, a fact that his female students are already bemoaning. #2: Brendan Beckett Hogwarts' 26-year-old Transfiguration professor is in his fourth year teaching, and rumor has it he will fee celebrating a birthday in nine days! A middle class halfblood, Professor Beckett has custody of his minor siblings (now reduced in number to his youngest sister) and is currently courting Miss Harper Hatchitt — much, I am sure, to the dismay of our readers. Miss Hatchitt is notable for dropping out of Hogwarts shortly before she was to sit for her NEWTs in order to pursue a career as a personal assistant, and so who knows what else she may change her mind about at the last minute? Perhaps her cold feet will see Professor Beckett free once more! #1: Emmett Winstringham The most dashing professor at Hogwarts is also an eligible bachelor! 30-year-old Professor Winstringham is a middle class pureblood in his second year teaching Ancient Runes. Previously a curse breaker for Gringotts, Professor Winstringham likely has a tidy nest egg put away, and we at Witch Weekly would be surprised if he were not ready for a wife. Perhaps you will the lucky girl to catch his eye!

  

[Witch Weekly]

Madam Dodona’s Horoscopes After such a tumultuous summer it is the duty of those blessed with the sight, such as myself, to offer consolation where it can be had. For all those who have headed off to Hogwarts this term the future does indeed look bright; Mercury is has settled down from its particularly rapid movement last week, bringing with it a steady desire for intellectual growth. Venus is also growing in prominence, making this the perfect time to consider romantic endeavors and to express your artistic side. With Libra comming into power from the twenty-third, it is key to maintain balance in your life. Libra: The coming week will prove to be a busy but happy one. Pay particular attention to your visitors this week, for they may reveal more than they are intending. Scorpio: Be on the look out for an unexpected invite this week- there may be an event you particularly want to attend. This is a good time to meet new people. Sagittarius: This week will test your listening skills to the limit, however it shall be worth it in the end. Do not be surprised should you receive an unexpected gift and be ready to listen to other’s woes. Capricorn: Your imagination will be flourishing for the next few days and your creative side will show more than usual. Now is a good time to order that new dress, for it shall surely be the envy of all your friends! Aquarius: In the coming week you may feel yourself being frustrated by others not fully realising the scope of your ideas. Be patient and take the time to go over things, and you shall be sure to get your way.

Virgo is moving out of power, which may leave you feeling in need of being refreshed. Pisces: You might be feeling rather conflicted this week, whether over a matter of the heart or much more trivial things. Writing things down may help ease your decision, and do not be afraid to ask for advice. Aries: Be careful to watch what you eat in the coming days. Whilst that slice of cake might look tempting, if you wish to achieve the perfect figure it would be best to think twice. Cake will not solve all your problems! Taurus: If you do not speak up, then no one will be able to help. Confiding in someone will not make you any less independent and might just lighten your burden. Gemini: Keep your friends close- but your enemies closer. Perhaps you might find common ground for a reconciliation this week, or maybe you shall have your beliefs reaffirmed- just be careful not to give cause to throw your name into shadow too! Cancer: Your energy will be seemingly limitless this week! You shall find it easy to achieve your aims, but be careful not to burn your candle at both ends for you may just come off worse. Leo: This week will see you needing to act as peacekeeper more and more. Though you might find it difficult to start with, be as impartial as you can and you shall flourish in the role. Virgo: Reaching out to someone will bring unexpected rewards. Be careful not to put off more important things, however, and you will surely reap the benefits provided you can prioritise your responsibilities.

  

[Witch Weekly]