Heart and Head

[Zelda Peters]

Zelda had tried to remain strong, but as her first wedding anniversary drew nearer and nearer she had trouble accepting her still-flat stomach and her still-regular courses. As her cycle came again, Zel had trouble keeping things together — but thankfully Gareth had to go down to work. If he did not go down to work, she did not know how she would manage to keep herself from breaking down in front of him.

Once her husband was safely downstairs, Zel retreated to her bedroom and dissolved into tears. Again, she was not with child. She just wanted a baby. Why was it so hard for her to just have a baby? What was wrong with her?

  

[Gareth Peters]

Gareth would admit that he had hoped Zelda would soon tell him the good news that they were to be parents, but the words had still to come. He was of course sad about it, but it was nothing compared to the feeling of sadness he felt from Zelda. There was nothing concrete, it was just a feeling in his gut, but he still had work and just hope that things would soon change.

He had gone to work, but shortly after coming downstairs to the office, he found out that he had forgotten something upstairs, so he quickly climbed the stairs again and went to find the thing when he heard a vague crying. He quickly placed it back down on the table and followed the sound to Zelda's room. He quickly knocked, but having known that she had just been up to have breakfast with him, he opened the door, just a tiny bit. "Zelda?" he asked carefully.

  

[Zelda Peters]

At the sound of her husband's voice, Zelda grabbed a handkerchief and hastily dabbed at her eyes. She sniffed and turned away from both her husband and her mirror, but stayed in her chair.

"Gareth, I thought you had gone down to work," Zel said. Her voice was thick from crying, but she didn't want Gareth to think that she was unhappy in their marriage. She was happy with him, and quite fond of him — she just desperately wanted a baby.

  

[Gareth Peters]

Without waiting long, Gareth quickly stepped into the room fully and went towards Zelda. He squarted down and looked at Zelda. "I had, but I had forgotten something and then I heard you." he answered honestly and looking worried at her. "What is it? Is it anything I have done? Anything I can do to make you feel less sad?" he asked softly. It came easy for him to be gentle and caring for Zelda and in general to people, but especially to Zelda because of their marriage.

"You do know that I wish for you to be happy. I will do as much as I can to make you happy." he offered, and his eyes just showed his honesty in these words.

  

[Zelda Peters]

"Oh, Gareth, I am happy," Zelda insisted. She was quite happy in their marriage; Gareth was a wonderful husband and a very good man. "I could not wish for a better husband!"

It was just the apparent barren state of her womb that was bothering her. They had been married for eleven months, and there was no sign of a baby yet. Hugging herself around her lower abdomen, Zel willed the tears not to start falling again.

  

[Gareth Peters]

"Then what is it, Zelda?" he asked gently, and looked at her. He wanted to see her smile, wanted to make her happy and he would do anything he could to make that happen. He softly caressed her cheek,wanting to hold her close and make her feel happy, because it was obvious that she was not right now.

He did not care that he was loosing work time right now, he could make up for it another time, right now his wife needed him and that was where he was supposed to be. "Please Zelda, I cannot help you if you do not let me. I want to be there for you." he said softly.

  

[Zelda Peters]

Tears started flowing freely again, and Zelda turned and buried her face in her husband's shoulder. "Oh, Gareth," she sobbed, "I want a baby so badly!"

  

[Gareth Peters]

When Zelda just buried herself into his shoulder, he just placed his arms around her, trying his best to show that he really cared and wanted to make it all better. When she finally told him what it was, he felt his stomach fell. He could not exactly do anything other than what he already did to help that situation. "I understand. I wish I could be of more help." he said gently and just held her.

  

[Zelda Peters]

He wished that he could do more to help? Zel gave a brief and bitter laugh. "Oh, Gareth, there's nothing to do. We're already — already doing everything we can." And they were doing it fairly often, too, from what Zelda understood. "It just keeps ... not taking."

  

[Gareth Peters]

Gareth knew very well that he could not do more, but it was all he could think of to say, in hope of making it better, to make it clear that he cared and wished he could do something for her. "I know my dear, but that does not change that I wish I could do more for you. I do not like seeing you cry." he said softly.

"All we can do is keep trying, and then hope that eventually we will get a child." he said and just held around Zelda. "But there is no reason for you to cry about such things on your own." he added.

  

[Zelda Peters]

Gareth was right, but it didn't stop Zelda feeling like a complete failure. It was nearly a year, and she was still not with child! Certainly there was something wrong with her.

"It's all right, Gareth. I just ... I got my monthlies, and it hit me rather hard." She sniffled softly; if only she could just have a baby then everything would be perfect.

  

[Gareth Peters]

Gareth sighed, he could understand how it could be hard for her - it had been a long time and it seemed like something she really wanted. "Nothing can make me give up on you. You are my wife, and if it takes more than a year, then I am willing to wait." he mumbled and just continued to hold around Zelda. Work could wait, he was here to help people and right now the person closest to him needed him here.