Fear and Loathing

[Sarah Marlowe]

September Writing Challenge
January 27, 1869

A wand. How could she have a wand? A wand was why little Abey didn't have a father, and why none of the rest of them had a stepfather, and why they lived in a shoddy shack in the slums instead of the well appointed manor that Sarah had primarily grown up in.

A wand, and Sarah. If she had not been careless — even, perhaps, a bad person — then they would still live with her grandparents.

Sarah had tried, she really had. The small girl, her curly hair more brown than blond in winter, pulled her cloak around her. It dim, despite being hours until curfew, and in the cold there was not really anyone else out. She was alone.

She had tried, really she had. She had done her best in classes ... at first. Slowly, the terror of owning a wand had set in, and Sarah had developed a stutter and gone wide-eyed whenever a teacher asked her to do anything in class. It had gotten better over Christmas, a little, except that 'home' had been a harsh reminded that it was her fault that her family had to live this way.

Classes had been worse after the break, and today — today it had just been all too much. Sarah had started hyperventilating when asked to perform a simple spell in class, and had been sent to the nurse. It had taken her some time to get calmed down enough, and the nurse had made her lay down until dinner time.

After dinner, Sarah had come out here. She looked around quickly, making sure that no one was close enough to see exactly what she was doing, and threw her wand into the Black Lake.

  

[Lucretia Herpidon]

Lucretia often went to the lake. It was always so quiet and there were no embaciles or Hufflepuffs for her to worry about. Not that Hufflepuffs had done anything bad to her, but they were all so soft and nice and Lucretia wanted to lock them up in a cage and throw them in the sea.

She was sitting among some trees, practicing a spell if worked right turned grass into tiny snakes, when she noticed someone coming. At first, she thought that it was a prefect, but then, even if it was a prefect Lu was not afraid because she was a Blishwick and she could do whatever she wanted just because.

The person was obviously someone small, though, and when they threw their wand in the lake she practically jumped from her hiding spot.

"Are you stupid?" Lucretia asked. Once she was close enough, she realized that it was that Hufflepuff Sarah girl who had freaked out in one of their classes earlier. Lucretia raised her eyebrows at her. "I understand that it is hard to be a failure of a witch, I really do, dear, but it is a foolish move to throw your wand in the lake! Don't you Hufflepuffs know better?"

Even her ugly siblings wouldn't do such a foolish thing!

  

[Sarah Marlowe]

Her caution had not been sufficient, and it was all that Sarah could do to keep from flinching hard enough that she couldn't pretend to have just been startled. This went far beyond startled; if one of her schoolmates caught what she was up to then someone might come to try to fetch her wand from the lake. She wanted it gone forever; it had to be gone forever.

"Miss Blishwick, I didn't see you there," Sarah said with all of the poise that had been drilled into her before Abe's father's death. "I didn't throw my wand," she lied. "I'm just throwing sticks in the lake." As if to prove her point, Sarah picked up a stick from the ground and hurled it much as she had her wand.

  

[Lucretia Herpidon]

Lucretia was neither blind nor crazy. She knew what she had seen and no way that was only a stick. Wands looked sticks, yes, but only an idiot would mistake one for a stick. Miss Trelawney was lying and Lu would enjoy making her confess it.

"Oh, of course, I do believe you!" Lucretia said to the Hufflepuff with a smile which she hoped that looked reassuring enough. "Throwing sticks is very fun! I know a spell to turn sticks into small boats, my siblings showed it to me during the summer! I can teach it to you, just have your wand in the ready!"

  

[Sarah Marlowe]

This was simply ridiculous. Sarah had, until about a year ago, been Miss Blishwick's peer — well, almost — and now they had classes together. Even though Sarah was a pureblood, she shouldn't have been someone that Miss Blishwick now willingly spent time with.

The only real explanation was that Miss Blishwick knew.

"I'm not good at Transfiguration at all," Sarah said truthfully. She wasn't really that good at anything when it came to wand work. "I can barely turn a matchstick into a needle, there's no way I could manage a stick into a boat."

Sarah picked up another stick and tossed it; maybe the other girl would go away.

  

[Lucretia Herpidon]

"Oh, I'm sure you will not be terrible." Lucretia said reassuringly as she picked up a stick and performed the spell. Frankly, Lucretia believed the Hufflepuff, but humiliating her would be much more interesting. Lucretia liked knowing that she was smarter than others, especially when they humiliated themselves when they made it clear to her.

"You can use my wand if you want! Mr. Ollivander says that it is perfect for Transfiguration!" Lucretia said as she stretched out her wand to the girl. "Just do it."

She was smiling, but her tone was a rather demanding one.

  

[Sarah Marlowe]

Sarah flinched as Miss Blishwick offered her wand; at least she didn't have to produce her own now-discarded wand. She didn't want to ever hold a wand again, but at least hers could stay in its grave in the lake.

Swallowing hard against the lump of fear that had lodged itself in her throat, Sarah took the proffered wand and picked up yet another stick. She tried the spell, to no avail — the stick didn't even twitch, and the wand felt wrong in her hand. "See, I'm no good at all."

  

[Lucretia Herpidon]

Lucretia didn't expect anything better to happen. After all, nobody was as talented as she was at Transfiguration. She was better than even her older siblings, or she would be once she got to learn the complicating stuff.

"It must be hard to be such a fail of a witch." Lucretia commented sweetly, though her previously friendly smile had turned into a mocking one. "I suppose that's why you threw yours. Because I saw that you did even if you tried to fool me!"

Maybe she could scare that Hufflepuff a bit and give her a lesson for acting like some mudblood. True wizards never threw their wands away unless they were spare wands they used for bad things. "You should have picked a different part of the day to do it, you know. It's getting dark and there are monsters in the woods. You wouldn't want something bad to happen to you now, would you?"

  

[Sarah Marlowe]

Monsters scared Sarah, but not as much as wands did. She practically pushed the wand back at Miss Blishwick.

"I don't know what you're talking about," she said tightly as she tossed the stick she had tried to transfigure into the lake with her wand and the rest of the sticks. "You're right about one thing, though — I'm no kind of witch. I might as well be a squib."

  

[Lucretia Herpidon]

Well, it was good that she admitted she was a fail witch. It would be insulting if she insisted that she was a good one.

"I know very well what I am talking about!" Lucretia said, trying to sound threatening. With her wand now in her hands, she quickly raised it to aim at Miss Trelawney. "You should never lie to a Blishwick!"

She wasn't sure if she would actually hurt the Hufflepuff, but it would be fun to scare her a bit.

  

[Sarah Marlowe]

Miss Blishwick thought that she knew, but Sarah was not about to let her get to her. This was a secret she intended to take to her grave; her wand was just 'lost' and she would put off telling her mother as long as she could. She was just going to have to muddle through on essays for the rest of the year, and she'd probably fail all her classes except History and maybe Astronomy (and of course Music) since she didn't have a wand.

"I've only been throwing sticks," she said; Sarah tried to remain calm, but tears were welling up at the corners of her eyes. "Only that. And it is getting late; we both need to get back to our dorms before curfew."

  

[Lucretia Herpidon]

The poor little Hufflepuff! Lucretia expected that she wouldn't put a fight. She was a the reason she was doing all this in the first place. She'd love to do something to her, but it was too likely that the Hufflepuff woul go to the professors crying.

"Yes, let's both get back!" Lucretia agreed with a mocking smile and then she pushed the girl and started pacing away. "Hurry, Miss Trelawney! I doubt that you want the monsters to get you!"