21 March 1886

[Daily Prophet]

MARCH 21ST 1886

MAN SEEKS WOMAN A PUZZLING PROPOSAL

Readers of the latest Witch Weekly were puzzled to find rather an unusual advertisement, which we have chosen to reprint for you today and then speculate upon extensively: MAN, OF SOME NOTE IN THE MINISTRY, SEEKS POTENTIAL BRIDE. Widower with young children and modest wealth seeking companionship for himself and a mother for his bereaved offspring. Candidates are to be of the highest moral character, a kindly disposition, and have completed at least one Season. Man in question is a hardworking, honourable man—a prize to any woman he might choose! Inquiries to be sent via owl, or hand delivered by messenger, to [pretend there is an address here]. Serious inquiries only. Of course, this is not the first time that unusual advertisements have found their place in the weekly, but this is certainly one of the more mysterious to date. Who is this Unknown Widower? We, of course, know that he is a widower with young children, though the definition of ‘young’ may vary from reader to reader. He must also work in the Ministry of Magic, and it seems safe to assume that a maintenance man simply will not fit the bill! Unfortunately, the address provided offers few insights, and so I have taken it upon myself to investigate potential—and desirable!—possibilities. EDITOR’S NOTE: The following to be presented as speculation, and not to be interpreted as fact. MR. EDRIC SLUGHORN, 38, OF BARTONBURG—“Some wealth”, indeed! Readers of the periodical were recently reminded of Mr. Slughorn’s large inheritance from his late, previously unknown, father! Children Cygnus (12) and Alcyone (9) certainly fit the bill for young, and his romantic origins may explain the secret behind the advertisement! _____________________________________________________________

MR. CHARLES MACMILLAN, 25, OF [PLACE]—Recently out of mourning, Mr. Macmillan is a handsome young man that would surely make any wife look good, though given the stipulation of children seems as if he may be unlikely. MR. BALTHAZAR URQUART, 40, OF SWALLOWBURY—The Minister of Magic would make a handsome catch indeed. Minister Urquart tragically lost his wife to an adder’s bite in the autumn, leaving him the sole parent to their six children, from toddlers through to his daughter, Miss Delight Urquart, in her fourth year! MR. FAUSTUS PREWETT, 35, OF SWALLOWBURY—A more established widower than Mr. Urquart, but no less noteworthy! Mr. Prewett is in possession of five children aged two to nine, and has a keen investigative mind. Perhaps it is that side of the former Head Auror that drove him to post such an ad—seeking a bride with a mind as sharp as his own! MR. ALARIC TRAVERS, 35, OF WELLINGTONSHIRE—Mr. Travers’ wife disappeared after a werewolf attack in 1879 and is, of course, presumed dead. While the pair did not produce any children, it does not seem like too much of a stretch to think Mr. Travers might intend upon them in the very near future, and so desire a wife prepared to care for a child with haste. MR. ORPHEUS PARKINSON, 29, OF WELLINGTONSHIRE—This, perhaps, is the largest stretch, but can one help but hope that such an attractive bachelor might seek qualities that will come in handy down the line, rather than qualities that prove immediately necessary? AUTHOR: FIDELIA SPILLER

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