Issue #102 - Love Match Minister!

[Witch Weekly]

  

[Witch Weekly]

Do you have any tips for other expectant mothers? Write to Witch Weekly!

In The Family Way? Are you expecting your first child, or perhaps anxious about your second, third or even fourth? Witch Weekly has gathered together several tips to help soothe your fears and give you some idea of what to expect when you are expecting and beyond! 1. Some healers believe that the thoughts of the mother are transferred directly to the child; a mother must therefore guard her thoughts at all time, thinking only good thoughts about interfering mother-in-laws or busy-body scullery maids! 2. Excitement is, by general rule, dangerous for a mother and her child and great pains must to taken to remain calm at all time. Neglect of this precaution may cause serious disaster, even when all seems to be going well. 3. As strange as it may sound, your eating habits while in a delicate way may have a direct effect upon your child; avoid salty or sour foods such a pickles, as these types of food may give your child a sour disposition! 4. When the time comes to deliver your child, consider the style of your hair carefully. The hair should be parted in the middle at the back, firmly braided in two tails and tied so it will not come unloosed. It is then no great matter if it cannot be brushed or combed for several days. It will be found smooth and untangled when it is loosened. 5. After all that you have gone through during your condition and the birth of your child, you will need perfect quiet for several hours before you see anyone. A five minutes interview with your husband is all that should be granted. 6. Even if you feel well, you should not read until after the third day. Rest of mind and body is all important. 7. After labour, you must spend no less than five days on bed rest. Nine days is preferable to ensure recovery, through child-bed convalescence may rang from anywhere between five and fifteen days.

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   Barnabas Skeeter

[Witch Weekly]

Comments from our Readers! Many of our readers seem to be buzzing about our last issue! We often hear terribly interesting comments about articles, of course, but we thought we would share a few of particular interest! "I cannot believe ladies in our year would act so scandalously. I always hoped they all had more sense!" - Miss C.W. of Godric's Hollow. "I hope we aren't seeing a plague of fortune hunters! There have been far too many unsettling rumors to that effect lately!" - Miss J.L. of Swallowbury District. "I noticed Mr. R--- has begun growing out his beard. I think perhaps his wife should be wary! Who knows what he's gotten up to." - Mrs. A. H. of Bartonburg. "I don't know who is supposedly requesting "comedic" plays, but I do wish they would only recommend more serious fare!" - Mrs. B. D. of London.

  

[Witch Weekly]

Love Match Minister! Witch Weekly has been informed that Mister Balthazar Urquart, our first minister, is on the hunt for a new wife! After having been widow for some time now it’s hardly surprising that that he is looking for someone to fill his days, and indeed his nights; and while speculation abounds we at WW will bring you, as always the up to date gossip on the front runners for the role of new first lady of England (to borrow a title from our American cousins)* The Society lady Rumours abound as to the identity of the lady in ownership of the fine hansom carriage which has been spotted outside the Ministers home on a number of occasions during the recent weeks.  Our eagle eyed reporters have spotted a woman with fine blonde hair, and it has been suggested that she belongs to a rather prominent pureblood family! Perhaps Mister Urquart is keen to secure the pureblood vote come the next election! The Divorce Scandal of scandal! One of those who we suspect is interested in our dear First Minister is a certain notorious divorcee.  Whether Mister Urquart is even aware of this infamous woman’s intentions are another matter entirely, but rumour suggests that she has very strongly minded plans in play, with the Minister as the target!

The Widow However, it could be that our First Minister would be pleased with the attentions of an older woman and might be interested in another possible candidate, a certain well known widow! The lady in question has a good and honest reputation but is significantly older than our dear Mister Urquart.  Perhaps he has no interest in having more children, or perhaps he merely seeks a maternal type to look after his home and existing children – either way the question must be asked, at what age does a woman become a re-marriage prospect and when does she become a housekeeper by obligation! The Debutante Rumours, do support a starkly contrasting prospective love for the Minister, a young lady – just out this season!  While we all acknowledge that Mister Urquart is by no means an ‘old’ man he is no spring chicken, and is it really appropriate for him to be chasing a girl barely old enough for long dresses! The origins of the young lady, are all but unknown but rumour suggests that she is a recent debutante from either Hogwarts or Beauxbaton.  Her description is of a pale young lady, with dark hair, although little can be surmised of her family or background.   The Working Woman A certain ‘working’ lady has also been seen frequenting the First Ministers home on a regular basis! While it is possible that she is in the ministers employ, as far as we are aware Mister Urqaurt maintains a live in staff of his own, and there is no reason for a young single house maid to come and go from the house at all hours of the day and night!  Perhaps instead of the society vote he intends to appeal to the masses with an egalitarian match! *Names have been redacted to protect the ladies in question

@'Balthazar Urquart'

  

[Witch Weekly]

How did you score? Let us know! Send an owl to Witch Weekly for a chance to be featured in our next issue.

Quiz: Do you need to replace your friend? As a faithful Witch Weekly reader, you'll know that a woman's friends are just as important to her as her husband. She should surround herself with like-minded invididuals who encourage her to be the epitome of a polite, well-mannered lady of poise. Sadly, even if you are the perfect witch, your friends may not be. Even one hole in a well-oiled ship can cause it to sink. Is it time to find some new connections? Take our quiz to find out! 1.) When you voice your opinions, does your friend... - A. Laugh and poke fun at you - B. Listen politely, but does not agree or disagree - C. Agree with you wholeheartedly 2.) If you have a falling out with your husband and go to your friend for consoling, does she... - A. Claim that you are wrong for being upset - B. Listen politely, but offers no words of comfort - C. Offer you tea and biscuits and gives you a shoulder to cry on 3.) Her fashion sense is... - A. Eccentric at best - B. Neither here nor there - C. She's always in the latest fashions 4. She spends most of her time with... - A. Other women who have a reputation for petty gossip and scandalous happenings - B. Mostly women that are already in your social circle - C. You, of course! 5. If you're being honest, you feel... - A. That she's not the best kind of a friend to have anyway - B. That she's an acceptable friend, but could use improvement - C. That she is a bright ray of sunshine in your friendship If you have answered... Mostly A's:You should replace your friend as soon as possible! She's likely gossiping about you and spreading unlikely tales to every bent ear when you're not around. A good friend should be supportive and practice discretion. Drop her acquaintance as if it were a hot cauldron! Mostly B's:You should be wary of her. Though she may seem pleasant and considerate, she may have one foot out the door in your friendship. Watch out for lack of interest and repetitive questions! These would be signs that she is not wholly invested. It could be likely that she truly is interested in what you have to say, she is just rather unfulfilled and lacking much interest in topics. We recommend helping her find a passion that you can enjoy together to encourage her to be more interesting. Mostly C's:You have nothing to worry about! Your friend is someone that will be with you through the thick and thin. You can depend on her and enjoy her to your heart's content. Just make sure that you do the same in return - you'd hate to score poorly on the quiz she took about you.

  

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