Dear Diary

[Beatrice Browne]

Dear Diary

September 4, 1878

I am furious. My father has just informed me that he's given my hand in courtship to Silas Marlowe. He was a housemate of mine, two years my senior. While there's nothing particularly wrong with him, I have no intentions of being a wife any time soon. I told my father flat out that I refused to court him. I will not be his, and I refuse to be made to court the man. I am not a toy to use to better the name of the Davis family. If I wed, I will not be able to make a name for myself. All my dreams will be forgotten and I will become bloated with a babe and made to be nothing more than a baby making machine. I refuse to let myself become such.

I am not going to sit idly by while my father tries to force me to wed. I will be fervent in my refusal and Mr. Marlowe will become fed up with me. I will make him break the engagement one way or another. Perhaps I'll act unrefined. Surely no man would want a wife of low standards. Or perhaps I will just ignore his advances all together. He'll tire of me and then the engagement will be off. Whatever it is I have to do, I will do it to keep from losing myself to this man.