Texts from Last Fortnight

[Cassius Lestrange]

"(707): I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over."

CAsh

  

[Eli Swan]

DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD



Saz.

(212): How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?

The rapport that Harry and Sam have in my head. None of my other characters are amused.

  

[Angie Swan]

Today, I happily told my parents that my boyfriend proposed to me last night. My dad's response? "Marry that goofy bastard and you're out of the will." FML

Made me think of Rock :) And Elias, of course.

haha on point! ^^^

(415):
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.

Cangie during a meltdown XD

Code:

(414):
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.

Lucinda is that you?

(336):
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.

IRRELEVANT TO EVERYTHING BUT EFFING FUNNY /wand innuendos for the win.

(202):
So how was the sex with me last night?

(703):
No worse than usual.

Grev, Grev and Grev <3

(438):
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.

(1-438):
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.

(438):
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss]

MacFustys anybody?

  

[Cassius Lestrange]

Code:

(414):
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.

Lucinda is that you?

lucinda says YES YES IT IS

(786):

Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.

(1-786):

Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?

(786):

I insist.

mac to younger sibs

(931):

I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers

art!

  

[Cassius Lestrange]

(336):

While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.

Art wants to do this now.

(613):

at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.

august's text to someone, because can you see august coming up with strip twister i can't

(612):

So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?

grace!

  

[Arthur Pettigrew]

(410):

We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.

Ev/Eze

(570):

Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile

(1-570):

FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile

Cangie if I ever let Cash grow a mustache, but I won't.

  

[Genevieve Granger]

(413):

I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.

Leo Van Helsing everyone. xD

(315):

Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love

Nevermind, Beanie - I think I found the other 5%

  

[Cassius Lestrange]

(317):

Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?

abraziel!

  

[Baxter Keene]

Leon

(315):
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to f*ck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail

yeah buddy XD

  

[Cassius Lestrange]

(775):

Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year

Arthurrrr

(313):

well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".

Xavier, post Quidditch success

  

[Sophronia Van Helsing]

(563): Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.

Mac!

(969): You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?

A text to Arthur.

  

[Jonathan Webster]

(717):

hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands

  

[Cassius Lestrange]

(708):

There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro

cash-> claude

  

[Cassius Lestrange]

(714):

someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.

Tiny!Val!

  

[Adrienne de Marque]

(504):

I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm confused about getting out from under my covers.

Adrienne -> Lusty MacFusty.

  

[Gabe Hatchitt]

(505):

Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.

filibusters.