29 March 1885

[Daily Prophet]

MARCH 29TH, 1885

MRS. BERSLEY RUINS HER HOUSE AGAIN? ATMOSPHERIC CHARM MISHAP X2; ONE PERSON INJURED

Some may or may not remember an article featured on the fourth of January about a one Mrs. Josephine Bersley of Wellingtonshire whose attempt at a winter atmospheric charm had gone awry, resulting in her entire house being enveloped sheets of ice. If not, allow me to enlighten you: She and her husband had apparently been preparing for a dinner engagement among immediate family and close friends to celebrate the turn of the New Year, and wanted to, as they say, “go all out”. Unfortunately, however, as is already known, Mrs. Bersley’s efforts hadn’t quite been as successful as she had hoped, and both the party had been postponed and money had to be spent on house repairs. However, it seems that Mrs. Bersley had once again overestimated her abilities, and not only did she set her tea parlor on fire -- and therefore, failing as spectacularly as last time -- but also managed to injure one of her household staff members in the process. Nice one, Mrs. Bersely. Outstanding charm work. Please don’t attempt it again.

“It’s not as if I had intended to set my parlor afire,” said Mrs. Bersley when asked for a comment, clearly irritated, “or even to injure poor Lucy --” the maid in question who had gotten injured in the whole affair, whom we are assured is recovering nicely from her burns, and should return to work in no time! “-- but what I certainly did intend to do was add a bit of sunshine to my young daughter’s tea party. The weather has been so droll lately, and has already caused us to postpone once, I refused to disappoint her again!” Her husband, Mr. James Bersley was once again unavailable for comment, though it wasn’t from a lack of effort on our part. When we spoke to him, Mr. Bersley merely sighed and left the room, muttering something about more house repairs and his wife’s magical abilities. But all in all, it seems that everything had worked out for the best, and was thankfully less traumatic that the first atmospheric mishap, though hopefully Mrs. Bersley will have learned how to cast a proper atmospheric charm the next time she wants to enliven her social engagements. AUTHOR: GULLIVER DORAN

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